Letter #6

Vanisher. May you never falter.

Hi, Matthew. I'm glad you're back to the drawing board. I think a couple months ago in June, you were literally so fucking pathetic. Like, of course, heartbreak and agony has always been a part of your life. I think that she really really fucked you up bad. But oddly enough, you're pretty hands off with this new girl. I'm really happy. Well, not even happy. But you definitely learned more. I think you matured so much man. I've let go of so much insecurity it's crazy. But that's also because Caitlyn has given you so much strength and belief and trust that you have no need to be defensive anymore. I think that was such a huge part of being truthful. I know that the next paragraph I'm about to write will seem pretty odd considering I think that I said I matured, but I think it's really about that time that I need to do it. 

You have the ability to sleep better. The ability of time to focus on yourself and your own process. You have the ability to save money. To eat better, to feel better. To meditate. You have the clarity in your life to do all these things. Let go of your desires. Continue to feel like you can improve because at the end of the day the sky is the limit. Harden your temper. You don't need to react to anything anymore. Laugh in the face of people pointing out your flaws. There becomes nothing good from reacting to anything other than real science based facts and criticism. I see the flaws in everyone more lately. I understand, but it's the mirror that proves your worth. See within yourself that you can live and win. I believe in you. 

In other words, You can win, I see the path to victory, I see the path of you becoming stable. My bipolar doesn't exist anymore. Strive. Understand that you can clean up your act. Understand that you don't have to lie anymore. Because you precisely faked it until you made it. 

You know and I know that there is such great light within you.

Your friend, Matthew William Fernando